Do It Yourself!
by Natly
Summary: When the Tallest refuse to supply Zim with the tools he needs, he resorts to visiting an Earth DIY store…
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay! This is my first fan fiction ever so, be nice!**_

_**I hope you enjoy it.**_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Invader Zim unfortunately. Sniff

**Summary: **When the Tallest refuse to supply Zim with the tools he needs, he resorts to visiting an Earth DIY store…

The rain poured down from the polluted sky, smashing against anything in its path. All the while, Zim's dysfunctional SIR unit, GIR, frolicked about in the garden, tearing at the soaked grass in an unusual fashion.

"GIR! Get in here! And don't bring any of that _filthy _earth substance with you." Zim called, tapping his foot impatiently at his doorstep. GIR spun around and waved ecstatically fleeing into the house as fast as his small legs would carry him. The water dripped from his black, felt ears as he pulled back the hood of his disguise. He grinned and stood before his master.

GIR was probably one of the most idiotic SIR units Zim had ever came across. He never did as he was told and if he did manage to register a command he'd do it insufficiently or prove to be no use at all. But he was good company, and the little 'bot didn't seem to mind listening to his new plans to destroy the Earth.

"Okay. GIR, I have a new plan -"

"Woo!"

"Ahem, anyhow, to ensure this plan reaches it's maximum effect, we need tools!"

GIR began to hop from on leg to the other laughing for Irk knows what reason at this new announcement. Zim shot the robot an irritated look; "I need you to be on your best behaviour. GIR! I'm going to call the Tallest and I don't want _any _interruptions. Do you understand that?" He waited for GIR to show at least some acknowledgment of this order, but he found he wasn't paying any attention at all. "GIR!" he shouted, and the robot immediately rose to his feet and saluted smartly - "Yes, my master!"

"Just stay out of the base, okay?"

"Okey dokey!"

- - -

"So…enlighten us, Zim. You want us to send you more tools for this new "plan"?" Red asked, looking at Zim's exceptionally long list that was held out in front of him. "Jeez, how long is that list?!" Purple exclaimed pointing at the large piece of paper. At that request, Zim unrolled it to an even longer length to what it already was…

Somewhere in China

Random Chinese Dude: (Insert Chinese writing here)

**Translation: **What on Earth is a dynamic mechanized spanner?

Back in Zim's base!

"But my Tallest! This plan will be successful, I promise -"

"These doughnuts are great! Who made these?"

"The drones in sector 13, I think. Hey you!" Red shrieked, throwing a half eaten doughnut at the nearest drone. The small drone jumped in surprise and turned to face his Tallest. "Yes, sir?"

"Get us some more of these doughnuts."

"Right away, sir." Red turned back to face Zim who had in fact been ranting throughout and was just finishing off his sentence; "And I'm pretty sure that all the humans will be destroyed and crushed!" he said excitedly, pounding his fist onto his open palm. "Yeah yeah, that's great, Zim, but the truth is, we don't have those things!" Red lied, nudging his co-leader for some support. "Nope, we don't have any of the things on that list and these doughnuts are in order of…an…uhh…"

"FOOD INSPECTION!"

"Oh yeah! A food inspection, sorry Zim!" Purple concluded, allowing Red to tell the drones to cut the transmission.

Zim frowned and watched as the screen before him went blank. "My Tallest don't understand the importance of this plan!" He fumed, kicking the air in front of his foot. He took the elevator to the upper floor and entered the living room. GIR was happily eating a jar of jam and wiping it on the floor around him, giggling gleefully. Zim sighed and watched him do this for a while, when a commercial on the television caught his eye.

There was no volume but it was advertising many tools and gadgets. "DIY?" Zim sounded out, looking to GIR who was now proceeding to cover the couch in jam. "GIR! Tell Zim the meaning of this…DIY"

"Do it yourself!" He chimed, smiling at his master.

"Do it myself?! GIR! That was an order!"

"Do it yourself!" He sang again. He saw Zim shoot him an annoyed look and quickly rectified his mistake, "Noooo! It means do it yourself" he said, displaying a moment of intelligence which was an extreme rarity. Zim pondered on this new information for a second before breaking the silence. "GIR, we must go to this "do it yourself" store and access some of it's AMAZING tools!"

"I like jam"

- - -

_**Okay, I know this wasn't exactly terrific for a first chapter, but it gets better! Please R&R so I know if you guys want the next chapter. Constructive criticism is fine **_

_**I need to hear your opinions on this.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Yay! Reviews! Thank you much **_

_**Anyhow. Sorry about this chapter being horribly late,**_

**_But for some weird reason it wouldn't_**

**_let me upoad any documents.._**

**_For those who are_**

_**Reading this thing:**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Disclaimer: **Invader Zim does not belong to me. That's including the characters and all the stuff in it. I like stuff. )

After what seemed like forever Zim and GIR eventually reached the DIY store. Zim inspected it for a while, and then came to a conclusion that it was just as horrible as the rest of the Earth shops.

"It looks so…_filthy_" He announced. GIR just tilted his head to the side and gave the store a big stupid grin. He then proceeded to run up to it and embrace it. "It likes me!" he squeaked.

After Zim had managed to pry GIR from the side of the shop they went inside.

The walls were tinged grey with obviously outdated posters and sale signs plastered across it. The floor however was gleaming. Although the shop looked incredibly small on the outside, on the inside it was extremely large. There was row after row of shelves full of all sorts of gadgets and objects. Zim and GIR stood there for quite some time until GIR decided to help himself to a shopping kart.

"What's that?!"

"Go-kart!" GIR chirped before pushing it violently forwards. They just stood and watched as the kart wheeled off into the distance. Shortly after a mushroom shaped cloud appeared from deep inside the shop followed by the odd scream.

"Was it supposed to do that?"

"No!"

"Oh well. Go get another one, and make it quick! I don't have the rest of my life to spend in here, y'know!"

GIR ran off to the collection of shopping karts and hurriedly pushed one back to his impatient master. Zim inspected it curiously before he decided to make a move into the shop.

They passed a variety of tools through the endless shelves. There were spanners, wrenches, bolts, screwdrivers, the odd rubber ducky…

"Where's all the good stuff!?" Zim cried, throwing his arms up into the air. "GIR isn't there a map or something in here?" he looked downwards to check if GIR was in fact paying any attention. But he seemed to have vanished. "GIR?!"

Meanwhile, GIR had wandered to a doorbell preview stand. He was happily pressing all the buttons within his reach. The high pitched doorbell tunes rang out through the large shop and it wasn't long before an angry Zim was standing next to him, waiting for an explanation.

GIR just put his head down and waited for all of the doorbell tunes to finish. Once they did he couldn't help but press one of them again just for the fun of it.

"Oooh! I like that one!" Zim said, listening to it carefully. The tune playing was the Invader Zim theme tune!

Once it had finished, Zim decided he'd have it. But instead of taking an already packaged one, he ripped the preview doorbell out of the stand. All of a sudden the rest of the doorbells began to chime, eventually fading into a series of disjointed tunes or going extremely high pitched. "Run!" Zim shouted, grabbing GIR's arm who was giggling hysterically. Just as they reached their kart the whole of the stand exploded for no apparent reason.

Zim shrugged and placed the mangled doorbell into the kart.

- - -

After what seemed like an eternity of pushing the almost empty kart Zim decided to take a rest. GIR decided to do a random dance around the isle they were in, while a creepy looking wide-eyed boy watched in awe. Zim stood up and pointed at the child.

"Where can I find tools of power? And doooooom!" He cried, accidentally jabbing the child in the eye.

The child stared for quite some time and he began drooling excessively. He eventually raised his finger and pointed at the place Zim was standing in. Zim checked himself over in case his disguise had fallen off, but eventually looked around behind him.

There was a gargantuan arrow illuminated with billions of tiny coloured bulbs announcing, "Tools of power and doom. HERE!"

Zim gasped and took a hold of the still dancing GIR. "Thank you, stink child! Come GIR! To the…over there." he said lazily waving his hand in front of him.

_**A second chapter! Thanks for the reviews, I love them much. This isn't going to be a huge story so there's not long left for it to go. I know it's not anything great but thanks for tuning in. ;**_


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